Trust

Before I start this blog I am just going to say that i will be addressing quite a few strange topics in my blogs. it's just me writingg out wat i have to say that day or the days before. A lot of the time i'm stuck in this rut where i have no idea wat it is that i say so excuse any confusion or mindless ramblin. It makes sense in my head and that's ultimately all that matters right?

Okay so here goes the words unsaid...

Trust - i don't quite know wat this is anymore. I used to. You see as a child i grew up in a very stable and safe environment. I learned to trust very eaily and very early on. Actually looking back now it all just seems a bit ironic since Saigon, my hometown, was the center of thiefs, liars, and rip-offs. That being said, i still was a very trusting child. I amed friends eaily and at 7 if you had asked me how i felt about them i would have willingly said, " I would trust them w/ my life." I laugh now when i think about it....LOLs....but then again life was much more simple back then. That trust inside me was really endless. I could trust anyone and anything to the point where i could be called gullible.

When i came to america, this part of me didn't change. I still turst ppl very easilty and thrus the past 8 years this has been the cause of much of my downfall.

See since 3rd grade until now, i have had quite a lot of best friends. i guess looking back now they can't really be called best freinds after everything they've done to me. i have been hurt more teimes bc of my supposed "best friends" backstabbed me than i have by boys who have broken my heart and that is saying a lot considering how many guys have hurt me. Each and every single time i trusted my friends, they betrayed my trust, and it went all downhill from there. At the time i blamed them. I thought everything was their fault and that they were the worst ppl in the world. But now? Well after quite a bit of soul searching, and korean/japanese dramas, i realized that it was my own foolishness that landed me in all the messes in the first place. My problem? I trusted ppl way too easily. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 3 times? Now that's just stupid." I allowed them to betray me. Logically speaking if i had not given them my trust, they wouldn't have had anything to hurt me with in the first place.

Like the saying goes, the person who was nvr meant to break your heart will break it. I never expected any of my friends to betray me but nonetheless they did. The one thing i can do about it now is to just forgive....and learn from it. I can only say that i won't be so quick to trust anymore.

You live you learn and one thing's for certain....there will always be words left unsaid.